journey of life

This week was the first week of our Bradley Method childbirthing class.  I went solo, since Matt was out-of-town on business, but because it was the very first class, it was mainly introductions, how far along in our pregnancies we were, and why we chose the Bradley Method.  The group is pretty diverse, we run the gamut when it comes to where we will be delivering, but ultimately, we all share a common goal.  To have the best birthing experience possible.

Throughout this pregnancy, I have become obsessed with spreading the word when it comes to childbirthing, as most of you know.  I truly believe that unless women become more educated about their options, our society is going to dictate how birthing is done.  The same applies for a variety of issues: contraception, breastfeeding, pop culture…our decisions are constantly influenced by our peers and the world around us.  It is up to us to “be the change we wish to see in the world”.  And, I feel it is our mission to spread the gospel.  We need to save women from unnecessary procedures, including Cesareans.

Now, don’t misunderstand me.  There are VALID reasons for medical intervention when it comes to childbirth.  Ultimately, we all want a healthy baby and healthy mom.  But, many women don’t understand that having an epidural significantly increases the likelihood of a C-section.  Maybe if women knew more, they would be reluctant to have an epidural.  Unfortunately, breech babies are one-way tickets to a Cesarean birth these days.  Partly, due to it being safer, but also due to the fact that doctors no longer know how to deliver breech babies, or attempt external versions.  And, with some doctors flat out refusing to perform vaginal births after Cesarean (VBACs), women are either driving long distances to find a willing provider or laboring at home (and even in hospital parking lots) until the last minute to ensure a vaginal birth.  There’s got to be an easier way, and a better way.

Which, brings me back to our class.  Many, actually about half, of the couples in our class have chosen to have a homebirth with a midwife, by choice.  If you have conjured up pictures of ponytailed hippies and broom skirts, you can quickly erase that image right now.  Our class is not full of hippies.  Rather, far from it.  One woman is a research analyst for the government.  Another, a lobbyist on Capital Hill.  We even have a Labor & Delivery nurse who has CHOSEN to have a homebirth, and if anybody knows about birthing in a hospital, SHE does.

I know that as time goes on this class will become more and more tiring.  A two-hour class for twelve weeks is going to be tiresome, but I believe that the more information we have going into the delivery room, the better the odds are that I will be able to do what women for generations before me have done.

This is just one of several controversial questions will be addressed and potentially discussed in further detail. Feel free to respond, but before you do, read the fine print.

It seems rather inappropriate to post about my various pregnancy symptoms and ailments this week, with what all has happened. Minor heartburn and uncomfortableness pales in comparison to Lindsay’s death, and the death of the infant she was carrying. Hearing of yet another loss heightens my awareness of how fragile life is and how often we take that for granted.

Last night while reading The Pregnancy Book by Dr. William Sears I discovered that the numbness in my upper left leg is probably due to the uterus pressing on the femoral nerve.  I guess I shouldn’t read so much…otherwise I wouldn’t have FOUND THIS OUT!  I’m going to call around, possibly make an appointment with a neurologist just to make sure everything is fine.  I’m reading that many pregnant women experience this (obviously, since I found out about it in a pregnancy book), but want to double check.  My feet are also starting to swell ever so slightly and just be uncomfortable.  I’m off to bed shortly and plan on elevating them to see if that helps.

Moving around can be uncomfortable at times, but bending over is the worst.  I soaked my feet earlier this week and attempted a pedicure, which was a disaster because of how uncomfortable it made me.  I’m taking Tums on an almost daily basis to combat heartburn, but (knock on wood) the past couple of days haven’t been so bad, maybe because I have been trying to squat instead of bend over?

We are both upbeat this week after making a decision to switch practices, which is a great thing, considering we are basically out of options covered by our insurance at this point in time. I spoke at length with a midwife where I will be transitioning to, and I was almost overcome with emotion because she actually seems to UNDERSTAND where I am coming from and what I am looking for in a practice.

First of all, let me clarify. These midwives don’t offer homebirth deliveries. They deliver in a hospital. I know this relieves many of you to hear. However, be prepared. I might seriously consider a homebirth in the future.

Pros of the new practice:

1. Four midwives. As opposed to close to ten midwives. Smaller practice, which means we will get to know all of the midwives (and they will in turn get to know us).
2. Wireless fetal monitoring. Meaning I can move around instead of being strapped to a machine. Also, if everything is normal, I don’t need to wear the monitor (most hospitals require this).
3. Tubs to labor in. As long as my water hasn’t broken, I can hang out in a tub during labor. They don’t offer water births, which is honestly fine with me, but this is an incredible option to have. PLUS, the wireless monitor works in the tub. Suh-weet!
4. Supportive of various birthing positions.
5. It is not hospital policy, nor my practice’s policy to have an IV.
6. The practice has an extremely low C-section rate.
7. If for some reason I need to have a C-section, one of the midwives attends the delivery in the operating room. Note: midwives don’t perform C-sections. This is wonderful news to hear, meaning we will have someone we actually know there to tell us what’s going on and to oversee the procedure. That’s huge in my book.

Cons:

1. The practice is 45 - 60 minutes away depending on traffic. I’m not really worried about this in regards of delivering, as most first time moms labor slowly, and after all, if we lived in a small town, an hour to a hospital is not out of the norm. But it will be a hike for bi-monthly visits and obviously somewhat inconvenient after the baby is born, and we will need to have someone scheduled to stop by the house to feed the dogs while in the hospital.

I am planning on continuing with my practice through week 28, where I will take the glucose screening test. After that, I plan on switching over to the new practice.

What a week. The saga/drama continues.

First of all, I’m feeling fine. I’ve started doing this weird thing where I wake up to pee after only being in bed a few hours, then wake up again right before Matt’s alarm goes off. I will then be wide awake before needing to take a mid-morning nap. It’s strange this rhythm my body is moving to. I am needing to get used to it.

Also, food still remains somewhat of a struggle for me. I just have no appetite. I’ve come to the conclusion that with my nose being somewhat “off”, things just smell very differently to me. A craving for a baked potato wasn’t satiated after dinner at Outback, a place we rarely go, but damn, their baked potatoes used to bring me back begging for more. Not anymore. I am noticing that I can’t eat as large of a meal and get full much, much quicker. I have given up on watering myself, and have begun to drink juices, lemonade and Propel waters to increase my liquid intake. In my next life I will be born to like the taste of water.

So, the saga…

Our visit to the doctor’s office was somewhat of a disappointment. I was scolded for reading too much once I began to ask questions about the hospital procedures. I assume that the dumber you are in the delivery room, the more complacent of a patient you are because you are clueless about what’s taking place. Not only did I find this disturbing, but I also was frustrated that I didn’t feel like I was on the same page with my practice.

The following night we toured the hospital and the nursery facilities. I must have been this tour guide’s nightmare because I had my notebook full of questions to ask, including what was the C-section rate for the hospital. In the hospital world they don’t want to disclose numbers, but I was able to coax it out of her, finding out the rate was almost 40%, which is high in comparison not only to the average for the state, but the average for the United States, much less the rest of the world. But the kicker for me was that the tour guide didn’t know what a birthing stool was, and she has taught Lamaze for over twenty years. I definitely feel like a fish out of water.

What’s a girl to do?

Whenever a baby is born in Matt’s family, Matt’s mom makes a baby quilt, and gorgeous ones at that. This past weekend for Mother’s Day, we went to a local quilt shop where I picked out the colors for our baby’s quilt. Here’s some pictures I took with my camera phone while at the quilt shop.

Obviously, since we don’t know the sex (and aren’t planning on finding out) the colors will be gender neutral, with an emphasis on greens and blues and a sprinkling of typical pastel baby colors. I’m so excited to see the finished product.

Also this week we toured a local birthing center. We were disappointed on a couple levels. First of all, unless you call the center as soon as you have a positive pregnancy test, the chances of you being able to birth with one of their midwives is slim to nil. Of course, they want to limit their practice to twenty-five deliveries per month, and this makes perfect sense, however, over half the attendees there (including ourselves) are on the waiting list and have little chance of making the cut. Secondly, we learned basically nothing during the informational session. From our extensive reading, we were well aware of how birthing centers operate as well as what midwives can and cannot do. I believe this is completely representative of the average population. People do more research when buying a car. However, I did like the earthy midwife conducting the session and know if this is an option for future children, I will have the phone in hand when I pee on a stick. But, this really isn’t an open option to us at this time.

I guess I’m resigned to the fact that other than choosing a midwife that our insurance won’t cover, we need to stay put at the practice we are currently with. Our other options (covered by insurance) are to go to a birthing center about an hour away or to choose another midwife practice about forty-five minutes away. At this time, I’m not sure these are options to pursue. Oh, wouldn’t life be easier if I didn’t give a damn?

This week the pregnancy support group I joined met at a local coffee shop and nine out of ten members showed up. We were like the pregnant posse! I am very glad that I found such a group and have been able to talk to women going through the exact same thing as me. One thing that strikes me as funny/odd is that I have been married the longest out of our entire group. Most of the women have only been married a year or two, one *just* got married (she had been engaged for a while and getting pregnant just sped up the wedding), and there is one gal who has been married four years, but my almost seven years of marriage definitely wins the award for longest matrimony.

We talked about topics for future meetings including breastfeeding, budgeting, getting together with new mom’s for a Q & A session and a diaper swap. It appears that all of us will either work from home or be stay at home mom’s, which will definitely be nice after the babies arrive. Because we come from different backgrounds, it will be interesting and helpful to have different viewpoints to make it through the upcoming months!

Unlike the other pregnant ladies I know right now, I haven’t registered. I think if you find out the sex it makes registering more fun, but I would rather have fun when we are surprised in the delivery room. Just my preference.

Also, we have not even begun to transition our office into a nursery. Recently, I went through my craft supplies, which now take up less than half the space as before. A minor step, but forward progress! It’s funny that here we are expanding our family, while we have the smallest house we have ever owned. I’m very into downsizing the amount of things we have and the arrival of baby is definitely prompting this transition.

I have begun to feel uncomfortable, which I am finding to be strange since I haven’t gained that much weight and am still able to fit into several non-maternity outfits. I guess you don’t really think of being uncomfortable until you are a large pregnant woman, but with your guts shoved up it does make sense. Oh, what I have to look forward to!

We’ve reached the halfway point (or thereabouts) anyway.  On Monday morning of this week, I woke up to my stomach gurgling, but not passing any gas, and although I couldn’t really feel anything I could characterize as a baby moving, I decided to just lie still on my back for a little longer and pay close attention to what was going on.  The top of my uterus is just below my belly button, so I begin groping my belly to see what I could feel.  After a few minutes, with my hand just below my belly button I felt something roll over, pushing against the top of my uterus.  Make no mistake about it.  That wasn’t gas.  That was a baby.  My heart started pounding and of course, the remainder of the week I kept wishing and hoping to feel more movement!

Our doctor’s appointment on Tuesday went well and we had an ultrasound today.  The place I go to have the ultrasound done wants you to chug 32 ounces of water starting an hour before coming in for the ultrasound, which is terribly uncomfortable if you are a pregnant lady, and miserable if they are running late, which they were.  However, as I patiently held my bladder in the waiting room, I noticed I could feel the baby moving around inside, which, honestly was a good thing, because otherwise I think I would have completely lost my focus on holding it.  After what seemed like an eternity we were finally escorted back to a room, where I politely asked if I could empty my bladder before the ultrasound.  The technician told me that she needed my bladder to be full, but after placing the transducer on my abdomen, she couldn’t see anything due to all the pee I had reserved, so I had to empty my bladder after all.  I immediately jumped off the table, pulled my pants up, ran out of the room and down the hall to the restroom to relieve myself. After coming back from the restroom, I lied back down, waiting for the technician, and once again I could feel the baby move.  Lo and behold when we started up once again, the technician said that the baby had flipped around once there was my bladder was empty.
 
No, we didn’t find out the sex, but was able to see that everything looks great. Nothing to be concerned about, which is a huge, huge relief.

After feeling the baby move, seeing the baby in the ultrasound and of course hearing the whoosing sounds of a heartbeat, I believe we are both getting excited about September.

This week I attended an Elimination Communication (EC) meeting, which I found very interesting. I’m not going to get into the whole concept right now, other than to say it is definitely a possibility in my book now that I have talked to some real live people who are living proof that EC works. More importantly, I was thrilled to find counter-culture “Earth mamas” into such things as breast feeding, baby wearing, composting, recycling/reusing, cloth diapering and, obviously, EC.  I have already started a dialogue with a couple of the other moms and have discussed at length different birthing options available in our area.  In the end, I am really glad I went, because I definitely feel like they are invaluable resources to have in the future months and years ahead.

Tonight, we went to our favorite local hamburger joint for dinner.  At the counter, my husband rattled off his order, then I followed with mine.  After we were finished, the little Mexican man taking our order asked us, “And for the baby?”  Although I completely understood what he said, it just didn’t register, so I just stared at him, completely unresponsive.  Fortunately, my husband realized I was comatose and replied, “No, not yet.”  After I digested what just happened, I looked at my husband and told him that’s the first time a stranger (who had no idea of my “condition”) had actually acknowledged the fact I was pregnant.  As strange as it may sound, it was quite a moment for me to take in.  I’ve had such a difficult time letting the reality of pregnant wash over me, and it’s baby steps like this that seem to get me closer to reality.